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MACJR

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Pigeons

 

 

Haggard and bewildered

Numbers thinned to excess

All part of the changes

For those who avoid

The cages

 

 

Michael A. Crane, Jr.

May 26, 2007

http://www.macjr.com


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Kirock

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Very nicely done Michael A Crane Jr.!

 

It sounds like something Jonathon

Livingstone Seagull would write.

 

In all seriousness, that is good.

MACJR

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Thanks Kirock 

 

Sometimes they come out fairly well on a first try. Other times, it takes fourteen revisions sessions to get something that sounds half as good as I wanted it to. 

 

Another recent poem I posted, "Welcome to the slums," was posted too soon. It has been reworked a couple times but I am still not ready to post the reworked version yet. When I do re-post it, it will probably have a different title and be more refined.

 

I will post a few more poems soon, but I will take the time to polish them a bit first.

 

 

MACJR


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Kerra

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This was written a few years ago, and polished every six months or so, but... was not received well somewhere else. It was however published in our school lit magazine last month....
 

As Tears in Rain

 

Diluted among the many

Seasoned into the whole

apart, not separate

 

The individual absorbed

As in the east

it matters not

 

The whole survives

Gaining substance

by diminishing the one


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Kerra

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MACJR



Pigeons

 

 

Haggard and bewildered

Numbers thinned to excess

All part of the changes

For those who avoid

The cages

 

 

Michael A. Crane, Jr.

May 26, 2007

http://www.macjr.com

This is stunning. Gives the feeling of the elusive gift of freedom...such a price is payed. Lovely MACJR.


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MACJR

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerra
This was written a few years ago, and polished every six months or so, but... was not received well somewhere else. It was however published in our school lit magazine last month....
 

As Tears in Rain

 

Diluted among the many

Seasoned into the whole

apart, not separate

 

The individual absorbed

As in the east

it matters not

 

The whole survives

Gaining substance

by diminishing the one

This is a very Far East way of thought. I guess a lot of western thinkers are disturbed by the thought of losing their individualism.

 

Personally, I value my individualism too, but I respect that this poems is showing another way of thought and life. Many westerners promote free will and individualism... but only as long as you think and act relatively the same as everyone else. So, in the end, even though we think we think different, both cultures practice the art of suppressing individualism in favor of the greater whole. It is just that in the east they do not delude themselves by thinking that individualism is socially acceptable.

 

A well done poem, thanks for sharing it with us Kerra.

 

And by the way, nice to see you back again. 

 

 

MACJR


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Kerra

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Hi Mac

Thanks for reading my poem and the feed back. Most people haven't a clue what it means. That's not a bad thing because I believe poetry should mean whatever to whomever, just as long as its read.

I'll post more when the time is right.

And by the way, thanks for the nice greeting!


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Kirock

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Reply with quote  #8 
Nice job on the poem Kerra, I really, really, like that one.
 
It seems to me that individuality does become diluted among the many, but at the same time, it is individuality that seasons the whole of the world community or of individual cultures. You are apart as an individual, but you are not separate from the community.

Part of the individual has to be absorbed to strengthen and ensure the survival of the community, but you don’t have to give up your individuality completely. Perhaps giving up part of yourself does diminish it a little? But I see giving of yourself to others also as a way a strengthening your ‘self.’

A parent gives of themselves to their children, a child gives of themselves to their parents, a teacher gives of themselves to their students. I don’t see any of these as diminishing by the giving.

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